Tiny's Tantalizing Text

Here’s a fabulous meme the cool kids are doing. Consider it yesterday's "Wednesday Whatever" until I figure out something else to post.

1. How does she take her coffee?
Clear, sometimes out of the toilet.

2. Is she a morning person or a night person?
Awake or sleeping at any time of the day...no set schedule.

3. What kind of car does she drive?
She ain't all enough to drive.

4. Does she adhere to the speed limit?
Like I just said, she ain't tall enough to drive.

5. How long does she take in the shower?
Bath only.

6. What are her favorite food and favorite drink?
Canned Friskies and toilet water.

7. What kind of soap does she use?
Saliva.

8. What kind of shampoo?
Saliva.

9. What would she say is the thing she likes the most about you?
The way I set her down when I'm done torturing her.

10. What would she say is the thing that annoys her most about you?
How I torture her all the time.

11. How did you meet?
She and her sister were living with my sister.

12. Tell me about your first date with each other.
Never really went on a date.

13. Where does she hide her stash… and what kind of stash is it?
Usually where I step on it in the middle of the night....kinda gross.

14. Is she a saver or a spender?
She don't get out much.

15. What would she do with $10,000?
Probably roll around naked in it.

16. What is the one possession of hers that you absolutely detest, but he would kill you if you threw it away?
Her trophy skeleton.

17. Who wears the pants in the house?
Me.

18. What is his ultimate weakness?
That cute little face.

19. How would she describe you?
Big ugly ogre.

20. How will you spend the holidays?
Wishing I actually had a girlfriend instead of writing this about one of my cats.