Thursday, May 25, 2006
Great Googly Moogly
It has been a long time since my last post here...after my promise to keep updating regularly.
Dad's at another funeral this morning. This time for a cousin (I guess) of his, that also is the Dad of 2 of my High School classmates. Even though we still live in/near the same town, I'm not very close with these guys. Yes, I was the DD for both of their bachelor parties, but that was closer to when we graduated. That reminds me...I almost went to jail for the second time on the second party...here are both stories since I'm bored.
The first party was a pretty quiet deal, even though we ended up at the stripper bar (of course, that was the main destination). We met at the local bar to get the party started with the dads of both the bride and groom in attendance. Played a couple of drinking games (yes, I participated with pop instead of beer), before the rest of the partiers decided to do a Rumple Minze shot that was ignited. Groom's dad didn't know it was lit and wanted to know what it smelled like....yep, inhaled a little of the flame. I think it was about 9:30 or 10:00 when we decided to head down the road 13 miles to the strip club. At the time I had a 1983 Ford E150 conversion van that normally seated about 7 people. We piled 13 bodies in there for the trip. Big mistake, every time I got over 40 mph, somebody would move and that would cause the entire van to bob back and forth...all I could do to control it. Anyway, now we get to the club, everybody gets through the id check and we proceed to "look at the ladies". 2 of the guys that were along are pretty quiet and shy like I am, and the groom knew this, so what does he do? He gets the current dancer over to our table and buys the 3 of us table dances. Had I been drinking, I probably would have stuck around, but sober, shy, and being the first time in an establishment like that kinda freaked me out, so I went out to wait in the van until closing time. While out there, I had a small conversation with a cop that I knew in that town, and generally just watched traffic until 1:30 or so. Well, we then loaded everybody up and headed to the truck stop in that town for breakfast, dropped 2 guys off, then proceeded back up the highway. I don't know if it was because there were 2 less bodies, or if they guys were all passed out, but the van handled a lot better on the return trip.
Now, the second party a month or 2 later. It started similar to the first one, local bar to start, head to strip club. This time there were a few different people along, my 2 quiet, shy buddies were not, and the total head count was only 7-9. One of the guests was recently married and his wife didn't approve of strippers (my guess is not many openly do, but a lot won't complain in special circumstances). Anyway, this guy and I were standing outside the door debating whether to go in or not when another in our party can't get through the id check because he forgot his id. Of course, he's not a normally quiet guy, and half drunk at this time, so he starts yelling at the id checker. Well, me and the guy that didn't want to make his wife mad get the other guy out of the door and corralled into another bar to have a drink. Then we went across the street and around the corner from the strip club to another bar for a drink, and run into the bride and her sister who are out for a few drinks. Standing outside talking to them, and what happens? The groom comes running around the corner, I look up and see a police car pull in, and all hell breaks loose. Seems the groom didn't like it that one of his friends couldn't come into the strip club and wouldn't let it go. Fortunately, with the help of the married guy and another guy, we got the groom into the van, grabbed everybody we could find, and I took them to another bar away from uptown, before heading back up for the rest of the group. We didn't stop for breakfast this time because I didn't want to be in the police station getting mug shots and finger prints again (guess I better tell that story next). Now, I start dropping people off, and the groom just happens to be passed out cold in the very back seat of the van. Get to his house, and his brother gets out, leaving me and the other guy that helped round up the group to somehow get the groom out. We finally got him woke up enough to stagger out of the van, but he runs off into the trees. His mother comes out of the house to thank me for doing the driving and getting everybody home safe, and says she'll take care of the groom. Heard at the wedding that the groom slept outside on the lawn.
Dad's at another funeral this morning. This time for a cousin (I guess) of his, that also is the Dad of 2 of my High School classmates. Even though we still live in/near the same town, I'm not very close with these guys. Yes, I was the DD for both of their bachelor parties, but that was closer to when we graduated. That reminds me...I almost went to jail for the second time on the second party...here are both stories since I'm bored.
The first party was a pretty quiet deal, even though we ended up at the stripper bar (of course, that was the main destination). We met at the local bar to get the party started with the dads of both the bride and groom in attendance. Played a couple of drinking games (yes, I participated with pop instead of beer), before the rest of the partiers decided to do a Rumple Minze shot that was ignited. Groom's dad didn't know it was lit and wanted to know what it smelled like....yep, inhaled a little of the flame. I think it was about 9:30 or 10:00 when we decided to head down the road 13 miles to the strip club. At the time I had a 1983 Ford E150 conversion van that normally seated about 7 people. We piled 13 bodies in there for the trip. Big mistake, every time I got over 40 mph, somebody would move and that would cause the entire van to bob back and forth...all I could do to control it. Anyway, now we get to the club, everybody gets through the id check and we proceed to "look at the ladies". 2 of the guys that were along are pretty quiet and shy like I am, and the groom knew this, so what does he do? He gets the current dancer over to our table and buys the 3 of us table dances. Had I been drinking, I probably would have stuck around, but sober, shy, and being the first time in an establishment like that kinda freaked me out, so I went out to wait in the van until closing time. While out there, I had a small conversation with a cop that I knew in that town, and generally just watched traffic until 1:30 or so. Well, we then loaded everybody up and headed to the truck stop in that town for breakfast, dropped 2 guys off, then proceeded back up the highway. I don't know if it was because there were 2 less bodies, or if they guys were all passed out, but the van handled a lot better on the return trip.
Now, the second party a month or 2 later. It started similar to the first one, local bar to start, head to strip club. This time there were a few different people along, my 2 quiet, shy buddies were not, and the total head count was only 7-9. One of the guests was recently married and his wife didn't approve of strippers (my guess is not many openly do, but a lot won't complain in special circumstances). Anyway, this guy and I were standing outside the door debating whether to go in or not when another in our party can't get through the id check because he forgot his id. Of course, he's not a normally quiet guy, and half drunk at this time, so he starts yelling at the id checker. Well, me and the guy that didn't want to make his wife mad get the other guy out of the door and corralled into another bar to have a drink. Then we went across the street and around the corner from the strip club to another bar for a drink, and run into the bride and her sister who are out for a few drinks. Standing outside talking to them, and what happens? The groom comes running around the corner, I look up and see a police car pull in, and all hell breaks loose. Seems the groom didn't like it that one of his friends couldn't come into the strip club and wouldn't let it go. Fortunately, with the help of the married guy and another guy, we got the groom into the van, grabbed everybody we could find, and I took them to another bar away from uptown, before heading back up for the rest of the group. We didn't stop for breakfast this time because I didn't want to be in the police station getting mug shots and finger prints again (guess I better tell that story next). Now, I start dropping people off, and the groom just happens to be passed out cold in the very back seat of the van. Get to his house, and his brother gets out, leaving me and the other guy that helped round up the group to somehow get the groom out. We finally got him woke up enough to stagger out of the van, but he runs off into the trees. His mother comes out of the house to thank me for doing the driving and getting everybody home safe, and says she'll take care of the groom. Heard at the wedding that the groom slept outside on the lawn.
# posted by Tiny @ 7:25 AM 
